Of course we should all know this. But, do we really get it? Obviously not

Here we go again. It’s a tough nut, but we keep cracking. Or perhaps I should say, “a thick skull.”

I see a lot of “Leadership Training” out there. Well, there’s a problem with that. The term suggests it, but a close look often reveals a mindset that Leadership is a skill set. Can you “train” Integrity? And an even closer look often communicates an underlying mindset of “control.” Often one will see evidence that such leadership programs are centered around “me.” Now there is a real problem.

Now, I don’t intend to hunt for flaws or point fingers. It so happens, however, that this observation prompted this discussion because it highlights what we continually see…a perpetuated misconception of what good leadership really is. And, no, I don’t back down on this. It’s what lies down at the core and is too important.

Some brutal facts about Good Leadership (not all leadership is good leadership)

1) Good leadership is not about you. It is about others. If you are focused on yourself, you are not focused on the team. Just who do you propose to lead? Good leadership is focused on the team and its needs for excellence. Oh, you’d better have yourself squared away. Your personal traits and behaviors had better be consistent with the traits of good leadership, but that is not the be-all, end-all. It’s for the team. Put your Self aside, focus on what the team needs at all times and take action in a team-oriented way, and you’ll be showing good leadership from the jump.

Is this an easy thing to do? How easy is it with family members whom you love? It’s downright tough to do day after day…for some of us, anyway. And, we foul up.

2) Leadership is not about controlling. Controlling limits decision-making of others in the team. Does that sound like good leadership? Some continue to think it is. And a good team will run circles around them…until those bosses move on to kill yet another company in search of their own career. Good leadership is not really about giving up control either. Good leadership seeks to build and preserve Team Control. It is about facilitating and giving, not taking away.

3) Leadership is not “soft-skills.” If you think it is, tell that to the Marines.

The most important kind of control that should be exhibited by a good leader is self-control…not controlling others or control of the team. In other words, get a grip. Leave your personal problems and agendas at home. Good leadership doesn’t cater to you. It doesn’t care about your ambitions, your ego, your need for attention, your insecurities, or if your blood surgar is low. You are dealing with the team real-time and you’d better be able to keep your “self” out of the way. 

As for centralized control, that limits agility and flexibility and results in more and more layers of bureaucracy…more controls, less decision-making, less Team.

And so it follows that our efforts to control often inhibit our ability to lead.

Throughout the world, we continue to perpetuate the mindset that leadership is a position or an act, or a skill. We continue with the mindset of predictability. In that fictitious world, it is possible to control people, things, and events. That is a fantasy world. Down at the core of that mindset, control means a game of take-away, of limiting, of manipulation. We’re smart enough that we don’t need a team. All we require is a necessary group of people to carry out tasks dictated by us. Who needs loyalty? We don’t need leadership. We have our smarts and our magic powers of predictability.

In the real world of rapid change, control must still exist…but not with a boss. It must exist with a Team. A good leader must not only recognize that and understand that…but really get it, deep down inside. It is a mindset…the old paradigm shift.

Okay, you want to ask, “but aren’t there times when…?” Of course there are times when, for the benefit of the team, you had better have the courage to step in and make tough decisions and take uncomfortable actions, which might mean tightening the reigns of management. But that is not where you want the team to remain, is it? Good leadership does not let that go on for long.

It’s great to train personal skills. How we all need that! But we tend to get tripped up by the how-to’s, and obsessed with quick fixes as a substitute for having to really show good leadership. Without a clear understanding of what Leadership really is, those skills are piecemeal acts. One can be excellent at them, and still destroy loyalty and a team environment, and expertly and efficiently fly the plane straight and true, right into the ground. We’ve seen plenty of brilliant and efficient people do just that.